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Germany Through My Spouse (3): Adapting to New Life

To show the life in Germany from a different perspective, we started to tell about my wife’s experiences in our story of moving to Germany, and in the first article of the series, we started to talk about the subject of Quitting Career and Traveling to the Unknown. he wrote like. Both in that article and in his next adventure about “learning German”, there were such good messages that he even said that he was waiting for the new article as if waiting for the new season of Game of Thrones After a summer run with lots of travel and busy work, he sat in front of the computer. and based on the most asked questions, she determined the subject of her new article.

How did she adapt to her new daily life, which was completely different from the old one, when she moved to a foreign country in complete uncertainty from her spouse situation? How did he keep his morale and motivation high by establishing an order for himself? I leave the floor to him.

After deciding to settle in Germany and resign, one-way I bought a ticket. There was only one path that I drew for myself; I was going to go find a job in Germany and start a new life there with Fatma.. “I wonder if we’ll go back if things don’t go well?” We never thought about it, or even though we thought of this option, we never said it and we didn’t see it as a plan B.. So we only had plan A ahead of us.. We had decided not to leave a home to return to as we considered plan A the only option.. That’s why I came to Munich with two suitcases, selling the house with everything including our furniture.

I mean, imagine that you’re going to a place where you don’t know the language, where you have no job, position, friends, family, in short, you have no one but your spouse, and you don’t know the language, and read this article keeping in mind that I am in this situation.. In this case, the only option in front of you is to adapt to your new life, try to hold on to life and be happy with the decision you make.. Here, this article includes my own experiences about how I manage this process.. I hope you enjoy reading it.

The first thing I did after I decided to settle in Munich was to find myself a German course.. I signed up for the course immediately after completing the necessary correspondence and registration procedures.. Those who are curious about my journey of learning German can read my previous article, Germany Through My Wife’s Eyes (2): Learning German The Cheesy Part of the Job.

After completing the coursework, I wondered if I could find a part time job and work.. On the one hand, I started to look for jobs such as a small waitress, but I was aware that I could not get a job with beginner German.. Then one day I thought of tennis. I was a part-time tennis coach at university, and I was a full-time tennis coach from time to time, and I also had a coaching diploma.. Why can’t I do it in Munich, I suddenly thought to myself. I didn’t need to know German like a flood to teach tennis, I thought I’d memorize simple commands and do the rest in style or English.. When my own idea made a lot of sense to me, I started looking for coaching advertisements on the internet.. I found one and applied immediately. My application was answered quickly and we agreed to do a trial training when I came to Munich.

What else if I can’t get into corporate life yet? I thought I could do it and decided to evaluate my tennis knowledge.

So I took the first steps before moving to Munich and arranged my course and my part time job.. On the other hand, after completing the complete closing of our house in Istanbul, we decided to take a long vacation with Fatma and visit Singapore, Bali and Malaysia.. After years of corporate life in Istanbul, I was going to take a 15-day vacation for the first time in my life.. I admit that adapting to those 15 days was another struggle.. After the first week, I started to say “Is it such a long vacation?”. Fatma wrote for those who are curious about the details of the holiday: Singapore, Bali and Malaysia Tour: Destination & Cost

After a good holiday, with a vigorous yet worried mind, February 23, 2017 I settled in Munich. I say a vigorous mind, but the truth is, I had a thousand questions in my head.. But asking myself these questions over and over again and increasing my anxiety wouldn’t do any good.. So I took direct action to quickly adapt to my new life.

Two days later, on Saturday, February 25th, I gave my first tennis lesson, earned my first money and took my first step into my life in Munich.. I gave tennis lesson as a private lesson.. More precisely, while I was looking for an ad, I found someone looking for a trainer.. Then I saw that this tennis job will make me bread, I thought I should apply to a club.. I immediately sent an e-mail to someone I had my eye on after researching a few clubs.. After a small interview and another trial training, I was accepted and moved to Munich about a week after I officially started working as a tennis coach at a club.

<p id="caption-attachment-4066" class="wp-caption" -text"Bought us a "celebration dessert" from the bakery with my first money /pp style="text-align: justify;"He attends a German course every weekday from 9 am to 12 noon. I was coaching the tennis club in the afternoons for 3 or 4 days.. In the remaining days, I was trying to improve my German by studying at home or in the library.. So I was able to establish a routine of my own.. I had a course that I attended every day, the people I met in the course, and an arrangement where I earned a small amount of money in return, even if it was outside the course, and more importantly, I could speak German and be involved in social life. /pp style="text-align: justify;"Whether you are a woman or a man, if you have decided to move to a foreign country as a spouse, one of you stays at home while the other is working.. First you have to accept the idea, but how long it takes and how this process goes is entirely up to you.. This is why these little routines are so important.. When you step into a new life, I can say that these types of things connect you to life.. Without these routines, you may find it difficult to adapt and get very bored because. I can say that the most important factor in my rapid adaptation was to establish this order./pp id="caption-attachment-4062" class="wp-caption-text"It is true that I sometimes tire my little students in the club where I am a tennis coach /pp style="text-align: justify;"Being depressed and not holding the edge of life outside and isolating yourself will only harm both yourself and your relationship.. On top of that, if we go back, it will cause you to have the conversations.. Of course, going back is also an option, but there was no such agenda on our agenda yet./pp style="text-align: justify;"I also never regretted being at home, not working in a job that matched my past experience or career.. On the contrary, I enjoyed being back to my student days.. I bought myself a bike and cycled to the course and training sessions.. Thus, I both learned the city better and threw myself on the grass in different parks and gardens on sunny days.. In the German course, I used to leave some time in between by not writing the other lot as soon as one course was finished so that I could reinforce what I learned.. Especially during these times, I was spending more time at home, doing a lot of sports and cooking.. Yes, you heard right, food /pp id="caption-attachment-4063" class="wp-caption-text"I enjoyed the summer in Munich, trying to look at the pleasant side of not working./pp style="text-align: justify;"My interest in cooking, which started in my high school years, turned into a hobby and passion as the years progressed.. Every day, I was buying something from the markets and reinforcing the daily shopping language and keeping myself busy by trying new recipes.. Of course, the one who enjoyed this process the most was Fatma, who found all kinds of food in front of her when she came home from work in the evening I can say that the fact that a very close friend of mine got out of the deadlock of corporate life and started Le Cordon Blue culinary school with a radical decision helped my love of food to go to a different dimension.. Those who are curious can follow him and his wonderful recipes on @nilucooks account./pp id="caption-attachment-4067" class="wp-caption-text"Because I like to cook, I want to spend more time shopping and different I made myself (and those around) happy by trying recipes./pp style="text-align: justify;"But shopping conversations or limited conversations in tennis practice alone weren't enough for me. So I decided to stay with a German family on a farm for two weeks to get more practice and experience the Bavarian culture on site.. I explained the details of this wonderful experience, which I call "Once in a lifetime experience", and how you can do it if you have the intention, in the  Workaway Experience in Germany article series./pp style="text-align: justify;"Two When I came back to Munich after my weekly farm adventure was over, I still hadn't found any environment other than tennis and German course.. I decided to acquire a circle by using social media platforms as everyone does today.. Of course, I didn't walk anyone by sending a message from all kinds of channels Thanks to the application called strongCouchsurfing/strong, which Fatma also uses on her travels, I started meeting people.. Thanks to the 'Hangout' option in this application, you can meet with local people in your city or the travelers who are there at that moment, wander around the city, have a drink or go to the festivals in the vicinity at that moment.. Thanks to this, I made two of my closest friends, one of whom I am still in contact with, German and the other German of Turkish origin./pp id="caption-attachment-2282" class="wp-caption-text"Additional German practice with Workaway I had the opportunity to get to know the Bavarian culture, and I had the experience of being with the animals I have always dreamed of. we can say that you are more lucky. Because there are many social media platforms built on doing sports together.. I got another close friend of mine through a tennis page on Facebook.. On this page, you give brief information about yourself, or rather your game level, and share the time and place options that suit you.. People who are in a similar situation to you in terms of level / space / time invite you to play by messaging you, or you invite them.. It's up to you how your friendship will develop once you get along and start playing.. We have a close friendship with Mark for more than a year Similarly, thanks to my interest in volleyball, I tried it and attended a club's training for 3 weeks.. But unfortunately that 3 weeks was a dead investment, I didn't enjoy it very much and I couldn't meet anyone on the same frequency.. You can try this method for football, basketball, climbing, walking, running, cycling and many other sports that you are interested in.. Sometimes it's good, sometimes it's not, you need to see all of them as experiences and continue without depressing your morale./pp id="caption-attachment-4058" class="wp-caption-text"Since Germans love to do sports, it is necessary to establish friendships based on sports. It is possible./pp style="text-align: justify;"It can be included in event groups with sites such as strongMeet Up/strong or strongInterNations/strong, which are event platforms, You can meet many people by participating in the activities organized by the groups.. I went to the events of these groups a few times and met a few people from here, but the friendships I made there did not continue.. After all, these methods are not absolute correct, they are only my own experiences; When you start to mix Google search, Facebook groups and various websites I have given examples, I am sure you will find suitable methods for you with the effect of your interests, where you live and of course a little luck factor.. Of course, if you start a job, you will also have an environment in the business environment, but what is written here conveys my experiences of adapting to life and acquiring an environment in the first year I came, before I started working yet./pp style="text-align: justify;"To sum up, Germany or if you intend to start a new life in another country, I will advise you not to forget 5 very basic things:/pul style="text-align: justify;"listrongLearn the language of the place as quickly as possible/strong : Imagine that while you are working in Turkey, a guest/colleague from abroad comes to your office and speaks Turkish with you and your friends, albeit with a smattering of them.. How do you feel? What do you think of that friend or guest? Do you make fun of her accent or poor grammar, or do you respect her by saying "good luck"? For this reason, you should learn the language of the place you are going.. Because you respect the country you live in, to make them respect you too, and of course to make your life easier./li/ulp id="caption-attachment-3685" class="wp-caption-text "Oktoberfest adventure with my friends I met from the Couchsurfing app/pul style="text-align: justify;"listrongHave routines/strong: This part is more critical especially for those who come from the spouse status and have not yet found a job I guess. Sitting idle at home will bring you and your partner nothing but problems.. Get a part time job if possible. If not, go to sports or another hobby course.. Wake up early in the morning and plan and fill your full time day at 09:00-18:00./lilistrongGet a circle/strong: The relationships and friendships you will establish will not be at the same level as the closest friends you left behind, 90% likely.. Start by accepting this. Unfortunately, no one is waiting for your friendship with open arms.. But don't stop trying, accept cultural differences, respect these differences and make sure to make some friends./lilistrongOwn your decision/strong: Remember that you made the decision to settle abroad and you went there, no one forced you. If you are still at the decision stage, discuss this with your family and spouse.. If you will not have a job when you go, know that you will go through a difficult process and be ready for it.. Be honest with each other if you don't want your relationship to erode, and have the courage to tell your partner if you don't want to take the journey on your agenda.. In summary, stand behind your decision and try to establish your new life, don't say it would be like this if it were in Turkey. If you are very complaining and unhappy, return without hurting yourself/relationship any more.. At least you can say we tried, it's better than living an unhappy life in foreign hands./li/ulp id="caption-attachment-4059" class="wp-caption-text"Mark, whom I met from tennis groups on Facebook We play tennis with . It is very normal for you to think, "I came here, I have to meet people from here and have an environment like that".. However, this thought should not prevent you from meeting and establishing a close friendship with a fellow countryman who has the same view of life as you and has gone through similar paths.. They say that fellow countrymen kiss their fellow countrymen abroad, but don't be prejudiced against your own people, moreover, you learn a lot from each other./li/ulp style="text-align: justify;"When I came to Germany, I set up my own routine and set up my daily routine. In this article, I tried to convey how I filled my life, how I got involved in social life by taking care of the things I love and wonder.. I'm sure "It's been almost a year, why can't I still find a job? While everyone is progressing in their careers, I'm sitting here empty-handed, I don't have any friends anyway.” If I entered a psychology, things would have developed in a very different and negative direction, so I think I managed the process well in my own way.. In the next article, I will tell you about the difficulties I experienced while making a circle in Germany, the cultural differences, and my experiences about how friendships in Turkey continue after the intervening distance./pp style="text-align: justify;"…

If you liked the third article of Germany through the eyes of my husband, if you liked the article Adapting to New Life, please share it on social media and be informed about new articles. Don’t forget to follow the following accounts of Hayat ve Seyahat

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